


(Un)Hardcore

by Anonymous



Category: Video Blogging RPF
Genre: BadBoyHalo isn't hardcore sorry, Best Friends, Gen, Platonic dumbassery, no real names used
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-22
Updated: 2020-11-24
Packaged: 2021-03-09 20:55:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,349
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27672343
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: “I’m hardcore!”“You are literally the most un-hardcore person I know on the planet.”
Relationships: Zak Ahmed & Darryl Noveschosch
Comments: 5
Kudos: 66
Collections: Anonymous





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I had my friend give me one of her extra ao3 invites for this and I didn't tell her what I was using it for, LMAO. I just wanted an extra account to be a dumbass on and write things more anonymously. Didn't want my main account to have this on it. I'm also stealing about 2342 ideas from the same friend for this dumb book of one-shots. NO ONE SNITCH ON ME
> 
> Anyways, I always find it so funny every time Bad calls himself hardcore because he's literally the sweetest person on the planet! And we all know it. So I'm beginning this for the wholesome friendship content. NONE OF THIS IS WRITTEN AS ROMANTIC BY THE WAY but I guess I can't really stop anyone from reading it that way. But just know that I will not write canon Skephalo ever, and I won't apologize

“I’m hardcore!”

“You are literally the most un-hardcore person I know on the planet.”

An offended gasp came from the other side of the phone, as Skeppy muffled his reaction giggles to it as he continued to listen to Bad stutter into a comeback.

“That’s not even a word, Skeppy! And it’s also not true! I’m so hardcore, you’re just scared to admit it!”

“Uh huh, sure Bad.” Skeppy drawled on lazily. “I have about a thousand experiences that proves your statement wrong.”

“Wha- no you don’t! Name one of them, then!”

“Alright, Mr. Hardcore.” Skeppy teased. “Literally any time one of your stream watchers donates to you, giving you even the slightest compliment, you go off on a complaining tangent about how you are the complete opposite of said compliment, and insisting that you’re hardcore, but in reality the fact that you’re complaining and denying so insistently just proves that you are the opposite of hardcore!”

“Oh my goodness.” The familiar frustrated groan came. “That proves nothing! And for the record, I am not cute, because I  _ am  _ hardcore!”

“I never said you were cute, but you’re right.”

“Wha- hey!”

“You’re pretty, we’ve discussed this multiple times already. And you know you’re pretty, so I take that as a win!”

“ _ Hey! That doesn’t count, you muffinhead!” _

Skeppy burst into giggles again. “Dude, you literally cannot take a compliment, how is anyone supposed to believe you’re hardcore when you dissolve the moment someone says something nice about you?!”

“No no no, that doesn’t prove anything, don’t you try to pull a fast one on me!” Bad shouted. “If you cannot provide an actual experience that proves your  _ false  _ claim as right, then I win!”

Skeppy stopped, hummed to himself for a moment, before grinning again. “Dude. Literally any time you interact with your dog. It’s so sweet to the point of making me sick, that’s the absolute opposite of hardcore.”

“What’s wrong with me being able to love my dog?!”

“Nothing! I’m just saying that it makes you look like a soft boy, which you  _ are!” _

Another offended gasp. “Oh, you did not just say that. You didn’t.”

“I did, and you can’t do anything about it. Softboyhalo.”

“I am  _ not  _ Softboyhalo! My name is BadBoyHalo for a reason! Because I’m a bad boy! Everyone calls me that!”

“Everyone calls you that because it’s the name you chose for yourself dude.” Skeppy said, deadpanned. “No one actually called you BadBoyHalo because they think you’re a bad boy.”

“Yes they do!”

  
  
“Oh, is that right then? I guess I’m gonna have to start calling you SaintsOfGames then, since I clearly don’t believe you’re a bad boy in any way.”

“No! And that’s rude! Call me by my name or I’m leaving this call!”

“Okay Softboyhalo.”

_ User has disconnected from your channel. _

Skeppy nearly fell back in his chair as he cackled incessantly. Oh, teasing Bad was always so fun and easy. Skeppy didn’t plan to give up on this little argument point. Bad was never going to admit it no matter what past experience Skeppy brought up to prove his point, so he had to pay attention to every single interaction he had with Bad from now on. He was going to make a list of things Bad’s done that makes him a softie, because what better to do than annoy the piss out of your best friend?

Who knows, maybe some future interactions could be fun video ideas.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woo short start, I know, whatever. I'll get some actual fluff to throw at you soon. Or, if you have any ideas to bounce off of me, feel free! Gotta evade the law, if I just use all my friend's ideas she'll find me out eventually which is unpog
> 
> See ya soon >:)


	2. Night Terrors

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Skeppy groggily blinked awake into darkness, confused out of his mind as to why he was awake. It definitely wasn’t a reasonable hour of the morning, considering how dark it still was outside. He felt like he’d only gone to bed an hour or two ago. What had woken him up?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Haha stole this idea from my friend, youll see that i post one shots of ideas stolen from this friend a lot in the future because i am a gremlin
> 
> "normalize calling your best friend at whack hours of the morning because they help you calm down" -My friend, 2020

Skeppy groggily blinked awake into darkness, confused out of his mind as to why he was awake. It definitely wasn’t a reasonable hour of the morning, considering how dark it still was outside. He felt like he’d only gone to bed an hour or two ago. What had woken him up?

Another blink, and then his mind clicked into enough awareness to realize the incessant buzzing noise coming from his nightstand. It was his phone, buzzing at him nonstop, trying to get his attention to tell him he had an incoming phone call. Who the hell was calling him at… like three in the morning?

Skeppy groaned, rolling over and slapping his hand to his nightstand, grabbing around for a few moments before he finally got what he was looking for. With bleary, narrowed eyes, he brought the bright screen close to his face and groaned again softly to himself when he read that it was Bad calling him, and he was correct in assuming it was around three in the morning. Still, Bad was his best friend, and he couldn’t shake the what-if factor of the call, so he answered.

“Hello? Bad?” Skeppy grumbled into the phone groggily. “It’s literally three in the morning, what’s the big idea calling me this early?”

“Skeppyyyyyyyy!” Came the shivering whine from the other end. “I’m sooooorry! I can’t sleep, Vurb showed me a scary video earlier and I can’t calm down enough to fall asleep! I’m really sorry I woke you up, but I needed to hear someone’s voice instead of silence.”

Skeppy rolled his eyes. Mr. Hardcore really was calling him because he was scared of some measly little video? “Dude, really? What did Vurb even show you, anyway? Do you remember the name of it?”

“No Through Road.” Bad whimpered.

_Oh. That one._ Skeppy suddenly felt annoyance and concern for his scared friend. He’d seem that video before, it definitely wasn’t a fun one. Why on Earth would Vurb show him that?!

“Why didn’t you just, like, stop watching the video? That video gives you so much time to tap out before the actual climax of the horror, you should have known you couldn’t handle it.”

“Vurb was teasing me and being mean about how I couldn’t handle scary things.” Bad complained with a huff. “I was trying to prove him wrong, but Skeppy, all I can think about is the scene at the arch with the scary music and the-”

“Stop, stop, I don’t wanna relive that video myself.” Skeppy ordered with a sigh. “You should know better to fall to Vurb’s tricks, Bad.”

In all seriousness, Skeppy could just hang up on his friend right then and there and go back to bed- it wasn’t his fault that this situation had happened. At no point did he have to get involved. But Bad was his best friend, and he’d feel awful abandoning him when he’s genuinely scared.

“Do you want to just talk for a while or something? To take your mind off the video and hopefully allow you to sleep?” Skeppy offered with a yawn.

“I feel bad about waking and keeping you up though…” Bad mumbled, guilt lacing his tone.

“Oh my god, Bad, I’m already awake, and you need me right now, I’m offering myself here. I’d feel too bad about hanging up and leaving you to your fears to sleep at this point.”

“Well… if you insist…”

Skeppy snorted. “Yeah, I insist. Anything you want to specifically talk about, Bad?”

Was this an instance that Skeppy could hold over Bad’s head to prove that he was soft, and not hardcore? Yes. Was this a situation that Skeppy wanted to hold at the expense of his best friend’s feelings? Absolutely not. He could let this one slide. After all, it would be rather hypocritical of him. Skeppy wasn’t exactly keen on anything scary or horror related himself. Bad was only seeking comfort, and Skeppy did genuinely want to give it to him.

“Are we like, sleep calling right now?” Skeppy asked suddenly, after a good while of them talking about stupid little nothings.

“Uh… maybe?” Bad responded sleepily.

Skeppy could hear him yawning on the other side of the phone.

“Skeppy?”

“Yes, Bad?”

“Can you sing me a song?”

Oh, because that was totally a hardcore thing to ask.

“I’m sorry Bad, I’m just really tired. I don’t think I can sing really, but I can hum something if that would help you?” Skeppy offered with a yawn of his own.

“Mmm.. mmhmm.” Bad mumbled.

Skeppy could tell that Bad was beginning to fade, thankfully, meaning that he could go back to bed soon himself. Wracking his brain for a tune, any tune, he eventually settled on the tune of a song they’d sung together before- one that Faster had made a remix of as well.

Yes, it was You Are My Sunshine.

After a soft few minutes of Skeppy humming away to the song’s tune, he noticed that Bad’s end had gone silent. He slowed his humming to a stop, looking at his phone- he’d turned it to speaker awhile ago so he didn’t have to hold it up to his ear the whole time.

“Bad?” Skeppy asked quietly. “Are you asleep?”

No response.

Skeppy took a deep breath, with a content, knowing smile on his face. It was nearing four in the morning at that point, and while the interruption to his sleep was still a bit annoying, he was glad to have done something good out of it. He reached over quietly to his nightstand where his phone sat, pressing the end call button after a moment more of waiting for a response from Bad. He stretched under his covers, before turning over on his side and closing his eyes again.

“Goodnight, Bad.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Im just gonna start referring to my friend as 'she-who-will-not-be-named' because its funnier and on the off chance she finds this fic she wont know im talking about her lol
> 
> see you soon! hehe


	3. Fruity

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Hey Skeppy? What fruit do you think you are?”
> 
> What.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> She-who-will-not-be-named likes to talk about fruit a lot for some reason. doesnt make a lot of sense to me because she always talks about how unhealthy she is when she eats food, and yet she still loves fruit somehow. her favorite is pomegranate if i remember correctly, but if i had to compare her to anything, i think she'd be a kiwi.
> 
> Anyways, have these morons be passive aggressive with each other with fruits

“Hey Skeppy? What fruit do you think you are?”

What.

Skeppy blinked in response to the question that hung in the air. “Fruit? I don’t understand what you mean.”

  
  
“Well, you know those silly little quizzes you can find online, that tell you, like, ‘what flower you are’, or ‘what color defines you’, stuff like that. If you had to think about it, without a quiz telling you, what fruit do you think you’d be?”

“But… but why a fruit?”

“Oh my goodness, Skeppy, just answer the question.” Bad complained.

“Dude!” Skeppy exclaimed with exasperation. “I don’t know! This isn’t a question I ever thought I’d have to think about!”

“Skeppy it takes two seconds to think about something like this! You’ve eaten fruit before, haven’t you?!”

“Of course I have! What kind of question is that?!”

“Okay!” Bad shouted. “So you’ve tasted fruits before and you know that they’re all unique and different! Just like people! Which one do you personally think fits you the best?”

Skeppy sighed dramatically, letting his head fall onto his desk with a solid thump. “Dude, you’re hurting my brain. I don’t know! Can I just say apple and be done with it?”

“Skeppy, that’s not how you play this game.” Bad scolded. “You can’t just say a random fruit without thinking about it! Fine, how about I go first then?”

“Sure thing, Bad.”

“Okay!” Came the gleeful remark. “Well, for me, I think I like to compare myself to plums or cherries! They have a nice rich coloring, as well as flavor. And…” Bad suddenly descended into giggles. “Hey Skeppy. You wanna know what both of them have in common with me?” More giggles.

Skeppy knew something awful was coming, but he ventured to guess anyways. “What?”

“We all…” Bad broke off to giggle more. “We all have a _hard core._ ”

“...Are you fucking kidding me?”

“ _LANGUAGE!_ ”

“Okay, no, you can’t language me for that!” Skeppy argued childishly. “That joke was terrible and also inaccurate! How many times do I have to tell you, you’re not at all hardcore! If anything, I’d consider you a blueberry- soft and sweet, and a little sour sometimes!”

“Wha- hey!” Bad exclaimed. “I am totally hardcore! And what’s this about a little sour?! Skeppy that’s mean!”

“Okay when was the last time you ate a plum, or cherries for that matter?”

“How recently I ate a certain fruit is not important in comparing myself to them, Skeppy. I think you’re just jealous that I have it all figured out, and you’re left floundering on a subject.” Bad said decidedly.

“You know what? I take it back. You’re not a blueberry. You’re just straight up a lemon, because you’re sour all the time.”

“HEY!”

This ridiculous, fruit filled banter continued on for another few minutes, with the two of them jokingly bickering back and forth with each other, before it began to die down and calm down again. Skeppy shook his head focusing back on the Stream Labs work he was trying to fix up.

“You know what, Skeppy?” Bad’s voice came again from Teamspeak. “Since you’re too busy to give two seconds to think about it, I’ve gone and thought about it for you.”

“Rude.” Skeppy sniped with a snicker.

“Anyways…” Bad continued, ignoring his best friend’s comment. “You weren’t too far off with your joking exclamation. You aren’t necessarily an apple, but more like a pineapple! Spiky and a bit annoying to handle at first, but once you get deeper in, once someone gets to know you better, you’re actually really sweet. Still tangy, bitey, but that makes the flavor more interesting!”

Skeppy opened his mouth to immediately protest, as he liked to do to bring about more light-hearted bickering, but his words died in his throat when the weight of what Bad had said sunk in. He stopped, mouth shutting as he thought it through. Huh.

“That’s… I was almost offended about the start of what you were saying, but you know what? I agree. I think that fits me. You… you really do know me well. Thank you.”

Bad seemed taken aback by Skeppy’s reply, as if he didn’t expect his friend’s voice to go so soft on him. “Uh… you’re welcome! And of course I know you! You’re my best friend, Skeppy, I’m never joking when I say that.”

“And I mean this, with complete seriousness, that I think you’re a strawberry. Because you obviously like red, and you’re very sweet yourself.”

“Aw, thank you!” Bad said, and Skeppy could hear his beaming smile from the other end of the computer. He’d done well.

Well, time to ruin it.

“You’re also very seedy, because you always claim to have a hardcore reputation, which is built on a complete lie.”

  
“Oh my goodness, _SKEPPY!_ ”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also, i know im never going to come off of anon, but you can call me Void. they/them, because i prefer not to say gender, but gender overall doesnt matter to me. Sounds good yeah?
> 
> Also the first like, ten chapters of this one shot book alone are going to be thanks to she-who-will-not-be-named. i dont lie when i say she has a lot of ideas she never uses. she writes fanfiction as well, but not for real people, which is fair. her ideas are just too good not to use though! so thats why im here. heh. give thanks to her, and also pray to church prime she doesnt discover this


End file.
